hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
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