butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
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