everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
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