good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
Randomize
