youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
