white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
it was like having sex with a tree stump
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
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