If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
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He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
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Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
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