i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Randomize
