Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
