Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Randomize
