she kept yelling 'call me bella'
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize