GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
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