Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
we made out on top of his cat.
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
Randomize
