she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
Randomize
