Your tits are I can't wait for
No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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