in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
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