Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
