what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
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