He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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