Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Randomize
