Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
as a side note pls kill me
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize
