i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
my being single is dangerous.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
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