Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Randomize
