So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
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