i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
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