who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
You made out with two different species that night
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Randomize
