i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize