is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
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