my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
There's even glitter on my cock...
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