So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Randomize
