Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
Randomize
