Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
