Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize