do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
lets start a swedish sibling band together
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Randomize
