i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
Randomize
