My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
