I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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