One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
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