Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Randomize
