What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Randomize
