Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
Randomize
