how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
you traded sex for a burrito?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
Randomize