There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
Randomize
