If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
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I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
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I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
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