Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
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