went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
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