are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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