my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
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