Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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