well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
Randomize
