Best friends brother. Beat that.
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
