Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
Randomize
