i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
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