Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
i wish my penis had a tongue
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
Randomize
