the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Randomize
