I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Randomize
