Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
Randomize
