I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
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