If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
Randomize
