When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
I just found puke in my bra..
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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