Your tits are I can't wait for
There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
Randomize
