I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
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