Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
These tits shall not be calmed
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Randomize
