and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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