This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
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