My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
Randomize
