i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize