I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
Randomize
